Double Talking Women

A husband shows his wife a study which indicates that on the average men use 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000.The wife thinks about this and then tells her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.The husband turns from the paper and says, "What?"

Sweet Talker

On a plane, a man and his wife are offered tea and both accept. The man tries to be sweet to his wife, saying “Pass the sugar, sugar.... Pass the honey, honey.”
Then he says, “Pass the tea, you old bag.”

Hot as Hell

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hell's all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for three days.
After three days Satan goes to check up on him, but he says, "I live in the Midwest and many summer weekends are hotter than this."
So Satan tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way up, and to leave him in for six weeks.
So after six weeks, Satan goes to check up on him, but he says "I grew up in the Midwest and I can remember dryspells that were hotter and longer than this."
Well, this really gets to Satan, so he tells the demons to turn the temperature all the way down, and leave him in for six months.
After six months, Satan goes to check up on him, and he is sitting there shivering, asking,, "What happened? Did the Cubs win the pennant?"

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Worms

A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died."Now," he said, "what do you learn from this?"An eager student gave his answer. "Well the answer is obvious," he said "if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."